We were married 4 years before we added a little one to the mix, which I recognize now means absolutely nothing, but at the time I thought it meant unending love, understanding and patience. Oh how I miss the fairy tale world I used to live in.
So now that I am obviously an expert on marriage after having a baby {insert sarcastic tone here}, I would like to share my completely unique experiences with all those who have never experienced parenthood {neither being a parent nor having parents of your own}
1. Never before has the topic of sleep caused so much anger, jealousy and frustration. How is it that I hear every sound and he could sleep through an earthquake? And why can he fall asleep seconds after laying her down and that is the exact time my mind goes into over-drive?
2. Household responsibilities have changed dramatically. Before the baby we really shared responsibilities, now I am home all day but it's all I can do to grab a granola bar to feed my face between feeding, changing and rocking.
3. That "new scent" he smells when he kisses me goodnight may or may not be a lovely mixture of milk and spit-up and that seems to be ok {for now}
4. Alone time now has different meanings to different people. I find alone time on a walk or locked in the bathroom with the shower running when I am, in fact, alone. He believes this is time for just the two of us right after she goes to bed...ain't nobody got time for that.
5. Exciting adventures now include family walks around the block or successful trips to the store - always planned around feedings and nap time
6. Once in awhile I just lay in the middle of the floor and cry. This experience no longer requires an explanation and he just walks around me, assuming I won't want to talk and maybe I will just fall asleep
7. We still try really hard not to go to bed angry, but if we wake up in the middle of the night, every emotion is fair game
8. Even though we rarely understand each other and our patience is thin, we have learned to extend grace and love, which seems to get us through all the other bull $#*%
Certain changes are always expected to occur in every in marriage. That’s why it’s important for couples to be open with each other and learn to adjust. While the chores seem to get heavier as time goes by, I believe having babies is great. This cute and tiny bundle of joy can make your bond even stronger. He can look after the baby while you cook the meals, and he will do the other household chores while you lull the baby to sleep. While it isn't perfect all the time, you two can definitely work things out. You just have to make a plan on how things will go, so that neither of you will be overburdened in the long run. All the best!
ReplyDeleteDan Gibson @ Sweeney Therapy