Thursday, December 4, 2014

A Letter About Sleep From My 5 Month Old

Dear Mommy,

Between 8 and 8:30 p.m. you need to get me ready for bed.  I can be flexible here if I am distracted but if you wait till 8:30 I will start to scream....push it till 9 and you might as well forget about the next two hours, I will scream and play and refuse to eat so I can teach you the importance of a schedule.  At 9:00 sharp I would like to nurse for approximately 30 minutes and then suck just for comfort for another 10-15 minutes.  During the day Dad or GiGi can give me a bottle of milk you pumped, but don't even think about pulling that $#!& with me before bed.  After sucking for 10-15 minutes you may think it's ok to close up shop and give me my pacifier....this may or may not work, good luck.  If it doesn't work you should open the breastaurants back up to start my nightly routine over again.  If it does work I would like to be held for exactly 37 minutes and 23 seconds before you try to lay me down.  If you try too soon I will wake up, if you are too late I will wake up.  

Once I am sleeping in the crib I will stay asleep for approximately 3 minutes to 4 hours.  It will be an exciting mystery, but know I will most certainly wake up the moment you pass out and not a minute sooner.  I will play with my toes and coo for a few minutes, but please know that won't last.  It may seem like I don't need anything and that I am happy, but in 3, 2, 1....I will start to scream at the top of my lungs because I am learning to make all kinds of noises and I want to share it with the entire neighborhood.  I know you will come get me because you have taught me that I can trust you so the minute you pick me up I will fall right back to sleep.  Don't be fooled - it may seem like I am sound asleep, but wait a few extra minutes before laying me back down because I am secretly waiting for that moment, I thought we were playing peek-a-boo.  Of course you could just put me in bed with you and I will cuddle up next to you and we can both sleep for the next 6 hours, your choice.  You could also just feed me for a few minutes to ensure I slide back into that milk coma and we will all be happy.

Isn't it funny how you were the perfect parent before you had me?  All those things you said you would never do go out the window at 3:00 in the morning.  It's ok though, I think you are great - that's why I want to spend so much time with you.  You might think we spend a lot of time together during the day, but it's just not enough...I am so glad we have nighttime too!

Love, A

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